Janine's Articles From the Soul From the Outside Poetry Corner Prisoner Letters

Abundance:  The Privilege of Millionnaires?
Issue 80

I’ve been thinking that at my age, I should be done with the normal but bothersome issues of everyday living.  Well....it turns out I’m not.

I think it’s in Richard Bach’s book “Illusions” that the question is asked, (I’m paraphrasing): when do we know if our soul’s work has been done?  The answer: if you’re still breathing, then it’s not!

I’m still breathing!  So here I am with more issues to face, more fears to confront, more healing to do.

The topic this time is abundance.  I used to think a person would have to be a millionaire in order to feel abundance.   This was the only way I could imagine being able to never worry about the end-of-the-month bill paying or the emergencies that may occur that I have no way of preparing for and that would just wipe me out, financially.  So I thought,  I will need to have a LOT of money in the bank before I can ever feel truly abundant.

There is a statement from the Bible that stuck to my brain for some reason.  It has been popping in my head on a regular basis for quite some time now.  It’s from Matthew 6:28 and goes like this:

“And why take ye thought for raiment?

Consider the lilies of the field,

how they grow;

they toil not, neither do they spin”

Translated to ordinary English, I understand this to mean that we simply need to look at wild flowers to see they receive all they need to grow without having to do anything, neither do they need to work to earn anything or to show they deserve anything.

And if God, the Universe that I believe created this world is so generous and supportive of wild flowers, why would I ever think I need to plan and work so hard in order to get what I believe I need to grow....and smell good into the bargain!

It seems obvious to me that if I believe God loves me, I cannot believe I would be treated less well than wild flowers are.

I like to plan, I like to have things organized around me, to have a tidy environment, tidy finances, tidy everything!  And I can’t say I want to change any of that.  Not really. But what happens when things normally, in the course of life, get a bit messier?

How do I deal with life, especially when I think about the future, which is what worrying is all about, isn’t it?

Nobody worries about the past.  That’s over and done with, nothing to worry about.  We can resent what happened, we can carry a lot of hurt from it but what we don’t do is worry about it.

We don’t worry about the present either.  Even in dire circumstances.  Let’s say someone is holding a gun to my head, I don’t worry about that, I worry that he’ll pull the trigger!  If my child is ill, I worry if he will get better.  If I’m falling from a 20-storey building, I’m very worried about the landing!

But I never worry about right now.  I don’t know about you but I can’t imagine worrying about a situation that already happened.  Some things hurt, some things I hated going through.  But worry?  I can’t think of anything.  Can you?

In my life at least, worry is always and has always been about the future.  Worse than that, worry never helped anything at all.  More often than not, what I worried about didn’t even happen.  But still, I like to worry.

I like it?????   Well, part of me must since I do it so regularly.  So what do I like about it?

Well, from the top of my head, I’m getting a very quick answer here.  I like to worry because it gives my life a bit of drama.  And drama seems more interesting than simply relaxing and accepting everything as it comes.

We do like our dramas, don’t we?  I remember Marianne Williamson saying, ‘If eight good things happen to me during the day, and one bad thing happens.  What do I talk about that night?”  I don’t think I know anyone who would not spend a lot of time if not all their evening talking about that one bad thing and not even mentioning the good stuff.  We do like to be “interesting”!!

So I like my drama, but I must say  that lately, I have become a lot better at letting go of drama.  So why else would I choose to worry about the future?

 

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And here comes the kicker for me.  I love Spirit, I love my Source.  I know it to be benevolent and to only and always give to me what I most need in order to experience myself as all I am.  It has provided me with all the perfect circumstances to become my best self.  I would change nothing of my life.  Nothing.

So why do I worry about the future?  Because I don’t trust the Universe to continue doing what it has always done.  That’s my ego talking.  Not very bright to think things will change now for no good reason..   But that’s my ego for you.  It wants to worry, it wants to take control of my life, get it tidier and tidier, prepare for all possible emergencies, all the while knowing I can’t possibly prepare for everything.  So it leaves me in fear.  My ego likes it when I’m in fear.  Because that fear pulls me away from my truest self, my connection to Spirit.  Fear does not go very well with the love of the Universe.

But I’ve found that the Universe is also all over my fear, ready to surround it, heal it, and make it disappear.  My ego knows that, so it intensifies its efforts to keep me in fear and invents all kinds of possible future scenarios where terrible things could happen to me unless I plan, unless I have a nest egg, unless I let the ego control everything and by doing so live my life in fear.

I have a fear of heights.  I don’t remember anything every happening to me that would explain it but put me close to the edge of a rooftop, a multi-storied staircase, a cliff, or even high in the bleachers and I become dizzy.  My feet can be planted very firmly on the ground and I can sit or stand there and remind myself of that fact, but just knowing I’m high up and not surrounded by a very solid-feeling barrier, I get so woozy I actually lose my balance and have to hold on to something.

That’s what fear is to me,  a feeling of loss of control and I so like my control.  My ego is never happier than when I take charge of something, anything at all. from how to keep my pencils straight in the drawer to how to keep my life running straight.

But my Best Self knows this is not me being my best.  That’s me letting my ego go nuts, controlling everything and then telling me, “See, you controlled it and nothing bad happened so you have to continue controlling it and everything else as well.”

My Best Self says, “Relax and trust in the benevolence of the Universe.”  What I’ve often heard stated as “Let go and let God”.


Nothing new there.  It’s been said repeatedly for generations.  I’m just realizing now that the Universe is gifting me with a perfect financial situation for me to build my trust, to walk my talk.

I don’t choose to be a big talker who doesn’t

practice what I preach.  As a matter of fact, I don’t even want to preach, I just choose to live my best possible life.

Part of that is connecting with all of you.

Thank you for being there and allowing me all these opportunities to state who I really am, thus helping me create myself anew.

With love and gratitude