Janine's Articles From the Soul From the Outside Poetry Corner Prisoner Letters

My Thoughts and I

by SB


Alone with my thoughts, visualizing the future and sharpening my tool for battle.   Not just in the physical real, which leaves a slight impression on one’s legacy, but more importantly on the mental and spiritual planes where the imprint is more permanent and resonates throughout the chorus of time.  I let my mind wander toward fond memories of the past then shake off this revelry, knowing that too much frivolous reflection leads to extended periods of inaction.

“Focus”, I tell myself, jumping back off the bunk to scrape my weapon against whatever hardened surface I can find within myself, bringing it to a fine point, sweat dripping off my brow as I continue honing my skills and morphing into the creature I truly desire.  Resisting pointless associations and avoiding any self-made obstacle that corrupts my ultimate goal.  Sunlight stretches to touch my skin as I reach for this futuristic accomplishment, knowing it is so close, yet without perpetual focus and progress it will always be out of reach.

Mere talk will never get me over the finish line in what I deem to be an acceptable fashion.  Planning, although admirable and a vital requirement for battle, will never win the war without action.  Sacrifice is an essential component for success, so I sacrifice the false feelings of belonging and comraderie, blissful ignorance and frivolous friendships for the cold, merciless steel of reality  This awareness and consciousness shocks me into a mode of diligence which seldom rests and growls for attention when ignored.  This beast of focuses intensity won’t allow me to lay down this burden for wisdom I have propped on my shoulders.  I love it, nourish it and nurture it for that reason.

As he grows within me I become this being and it becomes me, the old me slowly melts sway as my entire existence sheds its skin, revealing the hardened armor that has been cultivated by battle scars and war wounds, surrender is not an option.  Succumbing to defeat is a mind state I refuse to engage in.

At times, I can distract myself from its presence, but not for long.  The illumination of my true self will not be ignored, blocking out everything else eventually, so I am alone with my thoughts.  Thoughts filled with TRUE reality, reflecting sincere importance and genuine emotions drenched in righteousness.  There are no do-overs, I am reminded, but there are always do betters, as long as you continue to strive for such noble pursuits.  So rather than allowing these universal truths to gnaw at me from inside, I release them from their chains, allowing their destructiveness to tear down the shabby structures of false reality in order to begin constructing and pouring the foundations of change.  Foundations composed of the highest ideals of self and community, knowing that each baby step brings me, and us, closer to completion.

The realization of greatness is something many shy away from.  Not the generalized “greatness” we have become enamored with, but greatness that is reflected through the creative forces of our thoughts,words and actions.  Forces that hold you accountable to yourself and each other.  Once that light comes on, one must regroup and survey his surroundings, assessing the next move in order to maximize its effect.

So I am thankful when I am encased in a temporary state of self- (or otherwise-) imposed solitary confinement because then I can, once again, be alone with the God-mind that dwells within me.

Just me and my thoughts, preparing for battle, ready to spring into action.

Prisoner Letters

Latest Issue: 92