Janine's Articles From the Soul From the Outside Poetry Corner Prisoner Letters

Questions Unanswered Experienced Seeking Truth



We all wander around throughout this reality wondering what it is that we are supposed to do in the next few moments.  Deeply rooted within our thought system is an ever-present knowledge of what Self is and what it is we want to do with Self.  Our purpose in life is to experience those next few moments ignorant and to pass through into the next few moments still ignorant but full of knowledge of those past few moments.  That knowledge grants us wisdom in understanding the purpose of the moments that have passed and the moments yet to occur.

We all experience life asking questions about who and what we are.  Most of the time we don’t get the answers we were seeking.  When Jesus said, “Pick up your cross and follow...,” He was saying, “Q.U.E.S.T. with me.  I found my truth.  Come, I will help you to find yours.”  Jesus said, “I AM the Way, the Truth, and the Life...”   This means that the questions we all seek to answer, the Truth we seek, is inside our Self.   Only through experience, or living, can we know that our questions have been answered.  The experience is the answer.

Life poses to us so many difficult challenges to overcome;  so many lessons to learn.  But when is it enough?  When can you sit back, relax, and say, “Okay, God, I did my part. It’s Your turn.”  There is still so much that we must learn about ourselves that if we stop now we will never complete the task.  It is time for us to realize that we are all that we have here.  Our lives reflect how we feel about each other.  Whenever you or I meet somebody new, we judge them instantly.  We pain a mental picture of that person before we even begin to understand who that person is, or what that person is like.

A Course in Miracles has greatly benefited me in my Q.U.E.S.T.  Course has taught me that to love is to express oneself in such a way that all else becomes what “else” truly is, and that is nothing.  When all you see is love, things become meaningless.  this is so because love holds all meaning.  But what happens when that love faces a force of challenges: betrayals, scars, pain, insecurity, depression, anger, anxiety, hatred, despair, and desperation?  What happens when that love is all that you feel you have?  You begin to face fear, doubt, rejection, solitude, and frustration.

People say that love conquers all things, but how can that be true when that selfsame lore causes you to hurt so much?  I am speaking of a broken heart; of shattered dreams, of your grief after your children suffer, and you are helpless to stop it.  I am speaking of nature.  This is life as we experience it on a daily basis.  It does not change.

My experiences in the life of man have been a hindrance to my ability to heal.  This was so because I didn’t understand my purpose throughout them all.  Now I am trying to break down walls that have been built upon since my early childhood.  Some of these walls are so thick that all I can do is climb over or go around them; that takes time.  I am reminded of my pain each day, but that doesn’t mean that I cannot strive to overcome it.

My greatest challenge in life has been to learn how to love again after all the scars, the rape, hatred, abuse, trauma, and pain I have experienced.  It is extremely difficult for me to love whole-heartedly because my heart has been broken for most of my years.  Healing a knife cut to the soul, the very essence of Self, is a daunting task but not impossible.  I know that now.  Sharing my experiences and learning from the experiences of others has helped me to understand my Self better.

A Course in Miracles has taught me how to love again.  Thanks to Course, when I see others, I see me.  I see their hurts.  I see their heartache.  i see me.  I see in others the need for love, so that is what I offer to them.  If people learn nothing of me, they will at least know that I KNOW them.  I see their spirit because it is my spirit.  They can act tough or timid, wear any mask that they like.  I still see them, and I still LOVE them.

If Jesus were standing in my place right this moment,  He would sum up my words with this, “I will awaken you as surely as I awakened myself.  In my resurrection is your release.  our mission (Q.U.E.S.T) is to escape from crucifixion, not from redemption.  Trust in my help, for I did not walk alone, and I will walk

(Q.U.E.S.T) with you as our Father walked with Me.  Do you not know that I walked with Him in peace?  And does that not mean that peace goes with us on the journey (Q.U.E.S.T)?”

Salvation is of the mind, and it is attained through peace.  Let Christ, which is Self, be an example, and let my life be a testimony to the example that Christ has shown.  you cannot go through life without Love.  Embrace Love as I have embraced love, and share it with everyone, for that is the only way to truly experience the Love of God.  Let us all “break the cycle” by starting a new cycle of love and forgiveness.

To find answers to your unanswered questions in life you must seek from within your Self to find the truth.  Truth is in the center of all things.  To embrace Truth you must experience the lack of answers in order to even know that your questions have already been answered

Prisoner Letters

Latest Issue: 92